The Excellent Wife: Week 4 Homework


Sweet friend,

I wish with all my heart I could meet you at the nearest, most quaint and lovely coffee shop. I wish we could order something fabulous with a pound of whip cream on top, find a comfy couch in that shop and sit a while. I wish I could hear your heart. I wish I could hear all that you’re dealing with as we’ve unpacked so much in just four weeks. My how we have gone from all spectrums of the scale: from a sarcastic and me centered heart to our toes being stepped on to tears flooding the altar as we poured our souls out to Jesus on behalf of our marriage and husbands. Whether you’ve had the opportunity to meet with us face to face or online, I pray that the Lord has moved your heart into a beautiful place. I pray you are growing more and more in love with this way that is excellent, with your God, with your first husband. Yes, the One who wants to romance you. The One who is asking politely like the gentlemen that He is, to take your hand and lead you into the wilderness. The One who is handing you a bouquet of roses, who’s asking you to dance. Has it been a while since your husband gave your flowers? Has it been a good minute since he has taken the time to really ask you about your feelings?

Woman who needs a word, I pray that you know who your first love is. His name is Jesus. He is our husband. We, ladies, get the privilege of being His Bride.  And because He is always asking us to dance, we can be empowered to love our husbands the way that Christ loves US. (Hosea 2:14 )

This past week we unpacked this very idea. Our role as a wife according to the Word of God. We were able to learn how God views us as women, as wives and how in turn, we were created with specific purpose. So often, however, we can tend to feel we are carrying our families. The load of it all, right? Physically with the home, spiritually as a leader (if you feel your husband lacks in this area), mentally carrying the weight of emotions as we internally try to lift it all.

Is this you? What in your marriage do you feel you are carrying all by yourself? Do you feel your marriage is pretty balanced in these areas or do you see places where your husband carries more, you carry more, etc? Share your thoughts in your journal.


Just as our book says, “as Christ glorified the Father by doing the Father’s “work”, you are to glorify your husband by doing your husband’s “work” but this doesn’t mean carrying it all for your husband. That is not your role, precious daughter of the Lord and you will break underneath the weight of that pressure. We are called to help our husbands, not do their job FOR them. So what does that look like in our lives? In our marriages? In our homes?

Becoming this excellent wife is impossible without the Holy Spirit literally and supernaturally working it out in us. As husbands are called to reflect Christ, we in turn can see our role in light of the Church’s role towards Christ. Christ cherishes, sacrifices for, nourishes and loves His Bride. The Church. Us. We in turn respond with a sweet submission and respect towards Him. We in turn give Him our lives. In the same way, we are called as wives to do this with our husbands, regardless of whether they themselves are choosing to imitate Christ. That’s where most of the problem lies in our hearts. So many of you struggle to see Christ in your husbands and the enemy uses this to convince you that because of this? Everything you do is pointless. Worthless. All because He is not responding to it.

Unpack this with me. Let’s talk about your husband, shall we? In what ways do you see Christ in Him? Are you struggling to see Christ in Him at all? Has he done something sweet in the past (maybe even unintentionally) that you could say the Lord used to show you Christ’s example of sacrificing, nourishing and cherishing you?


In the same way, can your husband see Christ in YOU? As you are called to gently, willingly and humbly submit, respect and glorify your husband as the Church glorifies Christ, your husband should be able to visibly see these things. Yes, even if he does not acknowledge them or worse, responds in an ungodly or hurtful way, that does not change our calling ladies. We are still called to be the Church, regardless.

Put yourself in your husband’s shoes. In what ways do you think he might be able to see the Church (Christ) in you? Give an example of a time (even recently) when you chose to be the Church to your husband and share in your journal.


Did you struggle answering this question? If so, join the club sister. This is a journey in which we have locked arms. We are not walking this alone, but with the help of our Guide, our Holy Spirit, we know that we can win over our husbands. We can win over this excellent way. We are walking not in our own strength. Oh no. WE are empowered by the strength that is Christ’s.

Write out in your journal John 14:26 and then spend a few minutes asking for His help, asking for Him to move mountains in your marriage, in your own heart and then afterwards, in the heart of your husband. Here a song to play and listen to as you pause with the Holy Spirit to say to Him…Holy Spirit, You are welcome here.


You remember at the beginning of our study that mountain vision I shared with yall? The one I pass by every single day on my drive? The one that I’m dying to climb up and look over? He’s taking us there ladies. He is sweetly aiding our climb, giving us the steps, the path. Get ready…because as promised, He is going to “make my feet like the feet of a deer and make me secure on high places.” Psalms 18:33.


Flourish, WIFEY, Flourish,


ash and brett



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