Suffering was a word that I heard but didn’t know intimately until one rainy fall morning in 2015. I was at bible study when I received a phone call that would change my world forever. My healthy 30 year old husband suddenly died – his heart went out of rhythm with no warning or explanation. Instantly, I became a widow at the age of 25 and my 3 babies became fatherless. Everything about my circumstances in life looked different and I had to navigate this new journey alone. It was the death of all my dreams and I was faced with the reality of doing everything in life alone. My world as I knew it was shattered, my amazing marriage was gone, and my partner in life was no longer here. The sting of death entered my world in a new way but so did God’s abundant grace.
Through the deep sorrow, God has shown himself to be more real than ever before. I have seen His goodness in ways I could have never imagined. He has been the God of all comfort, the Healer of the brokenhearted and He has cared for the widow and the fatherless. His grace has been sufficient when my strength was not. His mercies have been new every morning even when my circumstances remained the same. His steadfastness has been my refuge when my emotions were all over the place. He has been my rock that I could run to when I felt like I was barely limping through life. Jesus has been enough for me. I have found that even though I lost my greatest earthly treasure, Jesus is truly my exceedingly great reward. He is my Hope, not a Husband and not a comfortable life.
These thoughts and His great healing that continues even now did not come because I chose to think a certain way or act a certain way, they came through the washing and renewing of His holy word and truth.
It came from hours of weeping over the word of God and begging Him for strength to make it another moment.
It came from setting my mind on eternity when everything in me wanted my happiness here on earth.
It came from me asking God to bring His truth to mind as I rocked my fatherless newborn baby to sleep in the middle of the night with tears pouring down my face.
It came from my community gathering around us and not only praying for us, but physically showing up to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
It came from getting out of bed when nothing inside me wanted to move.
It came from hoping when I didn’t feel hope.
And it came from believing God was going to heal my shattered dreams and broken heart when I couldn’t see the way ahead. Through it all, God showed up. He answered prayers, He revealed sin, He gave me truth and He walked with me every moment of this journey.
I am still a widow but I choose not to be defined by brokenness, I choose to be defined by the Healer. Jesus is enough no matter what you are facing. Circumstances affect us but they don’t have to define us. Trust Jesus to be your all and all and depend on His word to bring truth to your weary heart. He desires nothing more than your heart, even in brokenness.
All He wants is you.
Flourish, Baby, Flourish,
Brittany is a believer in Jesus Christ with the desire to know Him more and make Him known, by sharing His truth with others. She is a widow to her sweetheart Patrick Price, and a mommy to 3 busy boy toddlers that keep her on her toes and knees. She is a singer/songwriter with The Elm music along with a speaker and writer in which she shares the journey God has called her family through in suffering, and use it as a way to share His faithfulness with others. Her desire is to use her pain for Christ’s mighty purpose. Brittany lives in Atlanta with her three little boys. You can find more of Brittany’s words at brittanyprice.com, as well as on her Instagram @brittanybprice.