To the girl who…thought he was the one.

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You were out with friends. You didn’t know he would be there. You didn’t know you would lock eyes with his. You didn’t know you would fall. Hard.

You were in the same class together. You sat in the same room, separated by a row of chairs. You didn’t know he would try to make you laugh as much as he did. You didn’t know he would look at you that way. You didn’t know that you would fall. Hard.

You’ve known the guy your whole life. You’ve never looked at him the way you just did, though. You’ve never looked at him like a prince charming…more like prince charming’s brother. But, all of a sudden, you felt different when he smiled at you. Your heart skipped a beat when he called your name. You didn’t know that, girl, you would fall.

You would fall SO hard.

“Today”, you whispered to your giddy nerve struck heart ,”I have met my forever.”

Things were amazing for a while. He opened the door for you. He pursued you like you’ve never been pursued in your life. He called you beautiful. He called you adorable. He made you feel like a queen…for a while. He surprised you with that big bouquet of roses when he asked you to prom. He stood on top of that lunch table in front of EVERYONE all just to win your heart. He wanted you.

You’ve never felt like that in your life. And now?

Now he’s gone.

That guy has left. That guy has disappeared. You don’t know what went wrong. What did you do that made him leave? When did things take a left turn? You’re so confused, and hurt.
You’ve never felt so foolish in all your life.
The very guy you thought was the one you would walk down the aisle to has let you know in BIG LETTERS that he does NOT wanna spend the rest of his life with you. You weren’t the “one” for him…and you feel so stupid for actually thinking that you could’ve been.

You spent long nights talking on the phone. Texting until daybreak. He talked to you about how you were it for him, how there would never be anyone else. He said he wanted babies with you. He said a lot of things…that now…are nothing but a bunch of empty promises. Nothing but a bunch of lies.

Your heart has never felt such pain.

You cry yourself to sleep at night. You can barely make it through the hallways without losing it. You’ve lost the one whom your soul loved. You gave him everything. You told him all of the sweet secrets about your past that no one else knew. You cried to him over how your parents divorce had crushed you. You shared with him the deepest dreams of your heart, the places you wanna go, the calling you feel on your life…and all for what?

To see him play the game for a few weeks, maybe months, years even…and then get right up and walk straight out of your life.
Sweet baby girl, I have been where you’re sitting. I have been the girl to cry herself to sleep at night. I have been the girl to, embarrassingly enough, seek out attention from other guys to keep my mind off of “him”.

I know the pain your heart feels. I know the depression your slipping into. You thought he was the one. But angel, listen to the Words of truth for this situation…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Your thoughts right now are thoughts of hurt, rejection, anger, but daughter, these are not the Lord’s thoughts over you. The Lord’s thoughts over you are thoughts of purpose, thoughts of beauty, of love for you.

You’re his baby girl and when you hurt, He hurts.

His ways are higher than your ways. You thought that this guy you fell so hard in love with was the one, but sometimes, more often than not, the plans we have for our own lives are nothing in comparison to the plans the Lord has for our lives.
This relationship has ended for a reason. This guy has walked out of your life for a reason. I know you’re having trouble breathing in each new breath right now, but I promise you, things will get better.

Your heart WILL heal over time.

You are crushed right now and can’t see the future beyond your tears, but know that the Lord’s ways ARE truly higher than ours. If it were up to you, you would’ve probably signed the marriage license yesterday. You would’ve slipped on a ring the day you met him.

But, sweet girl, is that really what you want? Do you really want to settle for a guy who doesn’t see your true worth? For a guy who doesn’t see just how truly valuable you are? Who doesn’t want you as his first pick? Do you really wanna give up the rest of your life to a guy that wasn’t 100% head over hills fight to the death crazy about you?

Trust me, you don’t want that. You are a girl worth fighting for. You are a girl worth more than rubies. A girl worth someone being crazy over and, if he can’t see just how beautiful you are? Well, then beautiful one, he doesn’t deserve you.

As sad as you are to see it end, as heartbroken as you are to see him slip away, dare to see the situation for what it really is.

YOU are the one who got away.

HE is the one who has missed out.

HE is the one who will not get the HONOR and the PRIVILEGE of picking you up on your next date, of seeing your laugh at the silliest like things, of watching you flourish in your walk with Jesus.

HE is the one who has lost YOU, precious.
You must choose to move on. You must choose to be brave, to picture your future the way that God sees it, with the possibilities completely endless. Your life is not over. That guy does not complete you. That guy is not who gave your life purpose.

Let me lead you to the man who HAS.

I call Him Daddy.

Let me lead you to the man who puts Nicholas Spark’s movies to shame.

Let me lead you to your new boyfriend. To your new groom. He will satisfy the deepest parts of your heart.
Let me lead you to Jesus.

He will lead you, love you, hold you, mold you, cry with you, laugh with you, dream with you, listen to you, care about you, be wild over you.

This relationship that has just ended does not signify the end of your life. It signifies the beginning of walking in REAL life. Walk with Jesus, sweet girl. From personal experience, I can promise you that your Abba Daddy has someone out there for you who will cherish every breath you take, who will wake up wondering how he can make you laugh every single day, who will pursue you, who will pursue Jesus even harder.

Dry your eyes, sweet one. God sees you. He wants to heal your broken heart and, in the famous words of Celine Dion, your heart really WILL go on.

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress, instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle, and it shall make a name for the Lord an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off…” Isaiah 55:12-13

Flourish, baby, flourish,

Ashleigh

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Pam says:

    So true! Wished my younger self could have realized this instead of crying so hard for so long! You have such a wonderful gift with words. Love you!

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